Dore bimwe mu bintu bishobora gutera umugabo ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina
Abashakashatsi mu by’imibanire bagaragaje ibintu birindwi bishobora gutuma umugabo agira ubushake bw’imibonano mpuzabitsina mu buryo butunguranye, cyangwa umugabo ubwe atabigizemo uruhare rukomeye.
1. Kugira ubwoba
Biratangaje kuba wakumva ko ubwoba butera umugabo kwifuza imibonano, ariko nk’uko byatangajwe n’abashakashatsi bo muri Kaminuza y’Abongereza ishami rya Columbia, bashyize amatsinda abiri y’abagabo ku biraro bitandukanye.
Bamwe babashyize ku kiraro gisanzwe abandi babashyira ku kiraro kirekire cyane ndetse gisa n’igishaje, hanyuma bohereza umugore kubaganiriza. Ibisubizo batanze ku bibazo babajijwe n’uyu mugore, byagaragaje ko abari bafite ubwoba ari bo bari bafite n’ubushake bukabije bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina.
2. Inseko
Inseko nziza ni kimwe mu bitera umugabo kwishimira umugore no kugirana nawe ijoro cyangwa se ibihe ntagereranwa. Maria Sophocles ni umwarimu muri Kaminuza ya Basel mu Busuwisi. Avuga ko mu bushakashatsi byemejwe ko abagabo bishimira ibitwenge by’abagore babo kuko ngo ahanini bibibutsa amajwi ataka agirwa n’abagore mu gihe cy’igikorwa ngirana.
3. Utwenda tw’imbere dusa
Kuba umugabo akururwa no kubona umugore we wambaye utwenda tw’imbere dusa, ngo biramushimisha ndetse bikamutera ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina.
Nk’uko byanditswe na April Masini impuguke mu bijyanye n’imibanire y’abakundana, mu gitabo cye Think&Date Like a Man; umugabo ashimishwa n’uko umugore we aba yatanze amafaranga menshi ngo agure utwenda twiza tubonwa gusa nawe n’umugabo we.
4. Ibara ritukura
Mu bushakashatsi bwatangajwe na ‘Journal of Personality and Social Psychology’, basabye abagabo batandukanye gutondekanya amafoto y’abagore bambaye mu buryo bubanogeye, amafoto yaje ku isonga ni ay’abagore bambaye imyambaro y’ibara ritukura.
Muri ubu bushakashatsi bagaruka ku buryo iyo abagore (abazungukazi cyangwa abirabura b’inzobe) bari mu minsi yabo y’uburumbuke, ngo basa n’abatukuye mu maso kandi ngo umugore uri mu minsi y’uburumbuke arifuzwa bitandukanye n’uko yifuzwa mu minsi ye isanzwe.
5. Kwegerwa/gukikizwa n’abagore
Ibi nta gitangaza cyangwa se igishya kirimo kuko nk’uko umugabo anezezwa no gukikizwa n’uwo badahuje igitsina, n’umugore ni uko. Gusa ku bagabo bibatera ubushake bwo kugirana imibonano n’abo batindanye, mu gihe ku mugore bishibora kurangirira mu kumunezereza umutima gusa. Niba ukunda umugabo wawe rero, muhe igihe cyawe kinini gishoboka kugira ngo atanezezwa no kuba hamwe n’abandi bagore batari wowe!
6. Imiterere y’umubiri
Abagore n’abakobwa benshi bakunda ndetse bifuza kunanuka, ariko ngo abagabo bakururwa n’abagore bafite amatako n’amataye bihagije.
7. Kubona umugore basa ku isura
Ubusanzwe isura n’imiterere y’umubiri byiza ni bimwe mu bitera umugabo kwishimira umugore. Usibye ibi, ngo umugabo anezezwa cyane no kubona umugore basa ndetse biramworohera kumwifuzaho imibonano mpuzabitsina.
Nubwo tumaze kuvuga ibi bintu byose haruguru, ntabwo ari byiza gukora ibikorwa by’imibonano mpuzabitsina ku bantu batashakanye kuko ari icyaha imbere y’Imana ndetse no kutihesha agaciro, mukaba mugirwa inama yo kujya mwifata byananirana mugakoresha agakingirizo mu rwego rwo kwirinda indwara zandurira mu mibonano mpuzabitsina ndetse n’inda zitateganijwe.
Src: Umuryango
