Dore bimwe mu bikwiye kuranga umukobwa uri mu rukundo ndetse n’abashaka kurujyamo

Mu buzima tubamo bwa buri munsi bisaba ko umuntu agira umurongo ngenderwaho iyo ashaka kugira aho ava n’aho agera . Si ihame ko buri wese awuhuza n’undi. Hari amategeko akwiriye kuranga abakobwa kugira ngo ubuzima barimo n’ubwo ahazaza burusheho kuba bwiza.

Tugiye kurebera hamwe ibikwiriye kuranga umukobwa uri mu rukundo ndetse n’abandi bifuza kujya mu rukundo:

1. Irinde gushyira amafaranga imbere

Abakobwa benshi bakunda kwitiranya amafaranga /ubutunzi no kuzagira umunezero mu rugo baba bagiye kubaka. Yego amafaranga si mabi ariko si nayo shingiro ry’ibyishimo by’umuryango. Iyo umusore aguteretesheje amafaranga /ubutunzi, mugasezerana mukabana, akenshi iyo mugeze mu rugo agufata nka kimwe mu bintu atunze yaguze. Uzi impamvu? Ni uko wamukunze ari cyo ukurikiye kurusha urukundo wari umufitiye kandi na we yarabibonaga si impumyi. Ni byiza gushingira ku rukundo aho gushiturwa n’ibintu.

2. Ntugategere umusore amaboko igihe cyose

Iyi nayo ni ingeso abakobwa bamwe bakunda kugira. Mu rukundo ugasanga ibibazo bye byose agomba kubikemurirwa n’umusore w’inshuti ye. Iyo bimeze bitya uretse no kuba umubera umutwaro aho kumubera umukunzi, agaciro yaguhaga karagabanuka ndetse akagera n’aho akwinuba. Shakisha akazi cyangwa icyo gukora kikwinjiriza bizatuma akubaha kurushaho.

3.irinde kubika inzika

Niba mugenzi wawe agukoshereje, wibiha umwanya munini kandi atari ni ikosa rikomeye. Kubabarira ni indangamuntu ku bakundana. Niba uko agukosereje ubika inzika,hari icyiza uzamubonamo? Uzigera uryoherwa n’urukundo mukundana? Nugera igihe cyo gushaka urumva urugo rwawe rutazarangwa n’amatiku gusa? Yego rimwe na rimwe usanga bigoye kwibagirwa ikosa umukunzi wawe yagukoreye cyane cyane iyo ryagukoze ku mutima ariko si byiza ko wumva ko warigenderaho mu buzima bwanyu bwose ngo akabaye kose uribyutse.

4. Ntukifuze kwakira gusa

Kwikunda mu rukundo iteka ukumva ko bagukundwakaza, ko umusore mukundana agomba kuvunika cyane , ko agomba guhora agutetesha ,..bituma utaryoherwa n’urukundo. Urikunda wowe ntushaka gutanga no kugaragaza amarangamutima yawe.

Umuhanga mu mibanire y’abantu Anthony Robbins yavuze ko kugira ngo umubano urambe biba byiza iyo wumva watanga byinshi kuruta uko wumva wakakira gusa. Birumvikana kuko nushyiramo imbaraga ukammwereka urukundo rutarimo imbereka, ntazazuyaza kugukorera nk’ibyo umukorera ndetse wenda akarushaho kuko yizihiwe.

5. Reka kwifuza gukundwa nkuko wabibonye muri filimi

Abakobwa benshi hanze aha baba bumva bakundwa n’abasore urukundo babona muri sinema zinyuranye z’inkundo. Nyamara siko ibintu byose abakundana muri sinema bakora byashoboka cyangwa byakorwa mu buzima busanzwe. Hari amasomo twabigiraho ariko si byose. Si buri musore wese mwakundana wabasha kuguha impano y’imodoka nkuko bikinywa mafilimi amwe n’amwe.

Si buri musore wese mwakundana ngo ajye abona ubushobozi bwo kugusohokana buri gihe,…Sigaho guhora mu nzozi no kugereranya sinema n’ubuzima kuko akenshi ntibihura. Ibi bigendana no kurebera ku bandi bagenzi bawe. Iteka ukumva umusore mukundana yagukunda cyangwa akagukorera ibyo wabonye nyirakanaka bamukorera. Ni imyumvire itariyo. Ubushobozi bw’abantu ntibungana kandi baca umugani ngo ingendo y’undi iravuna.

6. Ntukanywe ibisindisha

Abakobwa benshi muri iki gihe basigaye bafata ku gahiye. Uko umugabo asinda siko umukobwa yasinda. Umukobwa wasinze aragayika cyane. Umukobwa watangiye kurara mu tubari aba yatangiye kuba icyomanzi. Iyo ageze mu rwe nabwo biramugora ndetse n’uburere bw’abana be bukaba busa n’ubwa ntabwo. Bibiliya ku bayemera ivuga ko vino ari umukobanyi.

Ni byiza ko wareka kunywa inzoga. Uretse no kukugayisha, inzoga zigira ingaruka nyinshi mbi ku buzima. Bizakugora kubona umusore mukundana wiyubashye mu gihe wahindutse umusinzi ukaba inshuti ya manyinya. Kubona umugabo uhamye mwabana rugakomera bizarushaho kugukomerera kuko nta musore wapfa kwisukira umukobwa umurusha kunywa ibisindisha.

7. Wishyira imibonano mpuzabitsina imbere

Mu mitego myinshi abakobwa bakunda guhura nayo uyu uza mu ya mbere. Kumva ko kuryamana n’umusore ari ikimenyetso cyiza cyo kumugaragariza urukundo ni ukwibeshya cyane. Ni bangahe se baryamana nyuma bagatandukana? N’ubwo mwaryamana ntimubura gutandukana. None se uko ukundanye n’umusore muzajya muryamana ngo ukunde umugaragarize ko umukunda? Uzajya kubaka urwawe utarabaye imbata y’ubusambanyi? Uzubaka rukomere?

9. Irinde kwambara impenure

Kwambara neza no kwiyitaho biba muri kamere y’abagore muri rusange. Kwambara neza ni ukwambara imyambaro itagutesha ikuzo mu bandi. Iyo wambaye neza buri muntu wese aguha agaciro ukwiriye. Zirikana ko kwambara imyenda igaragaza ubwambure bwawe nayo igira ubutumwa itanga ku bakubona kandi butari bwiza. Mu Kinyarwanda bavuga ko agapfundikiye gatera amatsiko.

Nugenda werekana ubwambure bwawe umusore azakugirira ayahe matsiko kandi byose wabimweretse? Ahubwo azakoresha imbaraga zose birangire agusambanyije aho gushishikarira kukugira umugore. Kwambara neza si ukwambara ibihenze ahubwo ni ukugirira isuku imyamabaro yawe, kumenya kujyanisha amabara, kwambara ibikubera atari ibyo wigannye bagenzi bawe kandi bitagendanye n’imiterere yawe.

10.Mufatanye

Iyo mushyize hamwe mwese mugashakira hamwe inyungu z’umubano wanyu nibwo muryoherwa .Gufatanya bigendana no guhanga udushya. Buri wese agahora yiga cyangwa ashakisha icyakongerwamo gishya mu rukundo rwanyu. Urumva ko buri wese narwana intambara yo guhanga udushya muzibera mu isi y’umunezero gusa. Umusore siwe kampala , nawe ugomba kugira ibishya uhanga mu rukundo rwanyu.

11. Ntugategereze ibyishimo byawe byose kuri mugenzi wawe

Abakobwa benshi binjira mu rukundo bumva ariho bagiye kubona isoko y’ibyishimo byabo. Wikumva ko mugenzi wawe ariwe ushinzwe ibyishimo byawe. Ntuzategereze ko agukorera ibyo ushaka ngo wishime. Ibyishimo byawe ni wowe bigirira umumaro. Wimwikoreza umutwaro wo kubigushakira wowe nta ruhare ushaka kubigiramo. Urukundo nya rukundo si aho umuntu aba agiye kubonera amaronko. Ni amarangamutima muba mugomba gusangira.